Are you using the phrase ‘being-in-love’ as an excuse?

So, the next topic that I’ve been given to write about is ‘being-in-love’. I do not have a lot of experience in this regard. So, if while reading, you feel like – this girl has clearly never been in love, you are absolutely right.  

The only reason that I question the ‘being-in-love’ part is not that I have never experienced it. It is because I have seen people ‘in love’, and it’s never been a pretty sight.

I never liked the phrase ‘being-in-love’. The problem is the existence of the counter phrase ‘falling-out-of-love’.

Yes, it exists.

I know you are like – No, it doesn’t?

Oh, Really, it doesn’t? Think about it. Here, let me help –

Major Differences

Love someone	Being-in-Love with someone
You care deeply about them	Deeply in love with them
You want them to succeed	You would go out of your way to help them succeed
Doesn’t change with time	Might change for good or bad
You need them around	You want them around
Makes you logical	Makes you emotional
You have expectations	Little or no expectations
Partnership	Ownership
Based on respect	Respect.. yes, maybe (you tell me)
You choose them	You don’t choose whom you ‘fall in love’ with (heard it in movies)

So, which side is better?

Hold that thought.

Here’s a story – 

The other day I spoke to a friend who is in a relationship with someone who is currently dating someone else. They are smart enough to realise nothing will come out of this relationship. Yet, they spend time with each other. Give in everything to their “relationship”.

I never really understood why. When asked, she said, “I am in love. Can’t help it.”

Here’s another –

This one revolves around a friend who is pretty straightforward when it comes to making life decisions. She knows what she wants and how to get it. She was in a relationship with someone who would never treat her right.

Did she know it? – Hell, yeah! They would fight about it all the time.

Did she do anything about it? – Nope.

I did ask why and yes, you guessed it right – she was ‘in love’.

So, let me ask you – Is this really what you mean by being-in-love or are you using it as an excuse to keep on doing it no matter how bad the consequence is?

So, back to my question – Which side is better?

• I would rather be with someone who cared deeply and respected me enough to not hurt me. And I would be that person for them as well.

• I would want them to succeed in what they do and help them in need while I work my ass off to succeed in what I am doing. 

• I would expect the love we share to not be affected with time. Let’s be ‘all-in’ right from the start. 

• I would rather be someone’s need than just a want. 

When was the last time any of us made the right decision emotionally? 

All of the above mentioned is what I would expect, and I won’t be offended if my partner expects the same in return.

Love means partnership, not ownership; appreciation, not possession. (It’s a quote, and I like it. I don’t know who said it)

Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love. (again, a quote. No clue who said it but well said)

Love based on mutual care and respect never ends, even if the relationship does.

Last but not least,

I would rather be a choice than a compulsion.